revenge

I think most people know that getting revenge on someone can be very enjoyable, but is there a more practical side to it? What motivates us to want revenge?

One way to deal with a bully is to make it known that you aren't going to tolerate him anymore and that there are consequences if he continues. One way is to beat the crap out of him (if you can). It seems to me it works well...the bully will often stop harassing you when he knows he's going to get hurt when he does it.

Now what if you didn't consider that he might stop bullying if you beat the crap out of him before you beat the crap out of him? What if you just did it because it felt good? For revenge. The results would be the same...the bully stops bullying.

It seems to me that whatever motivates us to want revenge may be a valuable trait evolution has given us to aid in our survival. Something hurts you hurt it back.

Maybe it's an evolutionary implementation of tit for tat?

Many years ago a family in my road used to have 5 dogs that they took for walks every morning and evening, the dogs used to use everyones front gardens and driveways as their personal toilets and no amount of talking to the family could stop them from letting their dogs crap and piss everywhere. Some of the people wanted to collect the dogs crap and deposit it in the well kept front garden and driveway of the dog owners in some sort of revenge attack, but after a few pints in the local it was decided to contact the local council instead. They actually observed the owners for 2 weeks and then hit them with a £5000 fine, they refused to pay, eventually the dogs were removed from the family and an order placed on them prohibiting them from owning anymore dogs.

Revenge would have been nice, but in the end justice worked better.

justice is merely a word that the elitist use to justify their own brand of revenge. justice is what the so called sophisticates of the world use to make themselves feel civilized and superior. It is the word that the govts of this planet use to do whatever they please in the name of order. let's face it, justice is merely standardized revenge.

"revenge, like gazpacho soup, is best served cold..." -phantom limb

anyway, i think you kinda answered your own question. yep, practical purpose, self preservation. the vexer is a threat to your well being, so you become a threat to his. hooray!

WOW what an amazingly interesing concept

I couldn't agree less, though.

Justice is about the formal expression of a democratic society's will. It is tempered with judgement and consideration, and it has (or should have) predefined and equally applied boundaries. It has balance and is willing to consider mitigation in an impartial way... revenge is not the same beast at all.

Justice also contains an element of rehabilitation. Revenge breeds more revenge.

I'm in a position at the moment where it might seem revenge would be an option. Not for me though. It wouldn't ultimately change my situation, just make someone else's more uncomfortable. That wouldn't make me feel any better.

I believe typically that the revenge one seeks now is left over from them the days when felt his honor was questioned or that of those close to him, which conflicts with society as it stands today for the most part. It was used or rather should have been used at a time when the laws were not enforced or lacking for a long list of possible reasons.

To me revenge is not about justice or retribution, but about giving into your own hate and/or anger ... two things are wrong with this;

-1 you lose yourself in the process, ...esp. if it goes against your nature.
-2 If your give into it you are not hurting your "opponent" , instead you have given him control and power over you by acting outside of your best interest.

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.
- Martin Luther King Jr.

If you honestly seek to win over your 'enemy' forgive them and love them for the lesson they have given you. Learn and maintain who you are above all else. In this day and age, with most of the population blindly following the music and media hype, it'll confuse them more than anything else and cost you nothing.

I have kept my views simple as I do not wish to write an essay on the matter, but the topic is interesting to me as I have both given into and ignored my more basic nature.

I know well the price on both side of the issue. Who I was and who I am, are two different things, and thankfully for me I am learning as I grow.

just my two cents

Revenge is not best served cold. It cools down by itself given enough time and reflection.

I concur with that.

Absolutely, dizzypoet and torrenter. Difficult though it may be, you justify your opponents actions by reacting to them. Better to let them stew in the cold soup of self-doubt.

If that were the case the public would be consulted. They aren't. Therefore 'justice' is the decision of a small group of men and women who think they're better than everyone else.

In my view revenge is necessary. When I was a kid I got filled in at school one day and had to run home, I told my Dad expecting him to go after the protagonists and sort them out. Instead he told be to sort it myself, he said that if I sorted out the worst one the rest would leave me well alone. At the time I was a little uposet but I did what I was told and I got left alone for the rest of my school life.

If I had gone to a teacher and done things 'properly' I would have spent the rest of my time at school either running away or spitting/pissing blood.

The way I see it is that 'authority' is there to dispense 'justice' and look after everyone but 'authority' is never around, it's always too busy, so you've got to look after yourself and your own and that requires the odd bit of gazpacho.

well to be honest i mostly agree with dizzy his view on revenge but thats a grown up way to handle it . Never take revenge with violence or with force , just use the justice system believe me it will hurt the opponent alot more . Had it with my ex husband he pulled the most discusting things on me but i used my brain , remained calm and omg revenge was sweet and the only thing i used was the justice system over here.

But ................m15hun sais is completely true when your a kid and get shit comming , just give even more shit and they leave you alone and you wanna know why? Its cause your opponent is a kid himself and doesnt even understand the beauty of justice and doesnt understand what guilt realy has to feel like either. Teacher would never have taken sites either , they actually cant do it realy , they could have given the kid some punnishement but that would just made the bully more powerfull and more liked by other bully's
Had that at school aswel been setback a year for something , i swear, i never ever did but the class i came into considdered me the queen of school for what they thought i did. I hated that so much i just changed school .

I always fought for the underdog and didnt want to stand out as being the worst pupil in school

The laws are put in place by people that we elect every four years. The expression of your will, and your consultation, is the vote you cast in the ballot box. Your guiding input is the party infrastructure where (if you cared to join) you get a say on creating or removing policy.

You feel disenfranchised in the way that you do, because the majority who vote, disagree with your POV. You feel unrepresented because you either do not get involved directly in party politics in order to guide policy, or because you do, but so few other people agree with you that it makes no difference.


Standing up for yourself is important... I presume that THAT was the life lesson your father was trying to give you, and NOT that "revenge is necessary"

With two young kids in primary school, I can tell you from first hand experience that bullying is a zero tolerance affair these days and taken very seriously.

I think I'd have more of an interest in politics if it were a more honest affair. No political party truly give a shit about the people, all they care about is getting into power so that they can line their pockets. None of them stand by their manifestos and openly change their opinions once in power.

If the will of the people was adhered to there wouldn't be council or television tax, there wouldn't be cruel laws in place to stop people ending their suffering when terminally ill, there wouldn't be speed cameras in places that serve no purpose other than to line the pockets of the government - the list is endless..

The 'will of the people' seems to benefit the wealthy in the U.K. yet so few of us are actually wealthy..do you think that's a coincidence or do you just think that the working classes are benevolent and love the rich?



You presume wrong.

It wasn't standing up for myself, it was taking care of something after the event. Finding one of the lads that attacked me and giving him a shoeing served to make sure that person and his friends thought long and hard before they hurt me or anyone else again.

Attack avenged = problem solved.

This post has been edited by m15hun: Jul 2 2008, 10:43 AM

I had a similar instance at school to the one m15hun had, my father responded in very much the same way as his father BUT in my case it was about standing up to bullies and not about revenge, IMO revenge just makes you as bad as the person you are seeking revenge against, you are allowing yourself to stoop to their level.

I have, over the last 3 decades, had many oportunities to seek revenge, I haven't taken any of them, justice has prevailed in all cases.

I could offer a reasonable rebuttal to this section, but fear it would lead the thread radically off topic.

Feel free to start a thread on how parliamentary democracy sucks, though... I'll be more than happy to participate.




If your father REALLY intended to teach you that revenge was the best policy (and not as I suggested in my last post) then all I can say is that either you misunderstood what your father was trying to teach you, or your father had pretty shoddy parenting skills.

This isn't meant as a personal attack, m15hun... I'm merely saying, that if that really was the case, it was an appalling bad piece of parenting