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PRIVATE NOTICE FROM crunchiemunchie1972
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and frank us scots are only crazy cause we next to the english you try puting up with them
(Today, 12:29 AM) crunchiemunchie1972
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and frank us scots are only crazy cause we next to the english you try puting up with them
PRIVATE NOTICE FROM crunchiemunchie1972
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richmond where can i shoot me a bear in scotland
 i want to try bear stew
(Today, 12:27 AM) crunchiemunchie1972
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richmond where can i shoot me a bear in scotland
i want to try bear stew
PRIVATE NOTICE FROM snookered
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If you see advertising/spam in the forums, please click
 for that post. Thank you 
(Yesterday, 11:28 PM) snookered
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If you see advertising/spam in the forums, please click
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hi richmond
ehhh what i missed
crunchie u arse pmslHow to satisfy a cat in heat.
This topic is about How to satisfy a cat in heat., the author, cranial, wrote about: My cat's been spayed but still jumps up in the middle of the night and run around yowling or should I say howling at the moon I would guess, excep ... To read more just scroll down
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 How to satisfy a cat in heat., A veterinarian's guide to healthy cat-living! |
 Oct 31 2008, 06:45 PM
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#1
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 Tada, kimi wo aishiteru 
 Group: VIP Received 9 Thanks Posts: 1,293 Joined: 24-August 03 From: Seoul Member No.: 18,538   |
My cat's been spayed but still jumps up in the middle of the night and run around yowling or should I say howling at the moon I would guess, except the pollution more or less makes that impossible.:-) Amyways I wanted to find out when a cat would be in heat and this is what I found. A vet describes how to 'satisfy' your cat's every desire ...
QUOTE How to calm a cat in heat
created by TinFoilGod Equipment: * 1 cat in heat * 1 Q-tip Procedure: * Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward. * Insert the Q-tip into the cat's vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two. * Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there. * You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip. * That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again. What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God. Background: A cat in heat is, with few exceptions, one of the most irritating things to have living in your home. A cat in heat will follow you around and howl at you in a bone chilling, hideous wail until you are ready just to toss it outside and let it get pounded by the local tom's. After a few days of this torture having to drown a few kittens sounds relaxing. This cat-saving technique was first demonstrated to me by a terminally un-squeemish roomate of years past. Method demonstrated by Dr. Kim Kendall B.V.Sc, M.A.C.V.Sc |
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Oct 31 2008, 11:03 PM
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#2
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 Angels should be aware of those who hunt feathers 
 Group: Contributor+ Received 7 Thanks Posts: 321 Joined: 8-November 05 From: Kilmarnock, Scotland Member No.: 582 |
Kitty pr0n!!!
i'll have to tell my workmate about that - she has 3 cats and it's not a pretty sight lol |
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Nov 1 2008, 01:50 PM
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#3
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 Scrabble Blast Champion! BigShinyOnes
 Group: Global Moderator Received 468 Thanks Posts: 25,462 Joined: 2-November 05 From: Great North Member No.: 18   |
This post is a little scary.
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Nov 1 2008, 02:00 PM
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#4
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 Advanced Member
Group: VIP Received 218 Thanks Posts: 6,361 Joined: 23-January 08 From: Belfast Member No.: 283  |
I'm going out to find some pussy........
This post has been edited by bigbaldybloke: Nov 1 2008, 02:01 PM |
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Nov 1 2008, 02:05 PM
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#5
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BigShinyOnes
Group: Global Moderator Received 468 Thanks Posts: 25,462 Joined: 2-November 05 From: Great North Member No.: 18 |
You sick basta**! 
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Nov 1 2008, 02:12 PM
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#6
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 Call of Duty 2 Champion! Woman
 Group: sVIP Received 215 Thanks Posts: 11,429 Joined: 23-August 07 From: Southern USofA Member No.: 10  |
Well, you could just get her fixed. Fairly cheap, lots less trouble.
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Nov 1 2008, 02:24 PM
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#7
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 Livin in gods country
 Group: Moderator Received 83 Thanks Posts: 3,836 Joined: 21-November 04 From: Wales Member No.: 619   |
great post, made me laugh -alot.
I bet Fuggs is trying to find the torrent for it now....which section would he put it in? |
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Nov 1 2008, 08:12 PM
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#8
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Advanced Member
Group: VIP Received 218 Thanks Posts: 6,361 Joined: 23-January 08 From: Belfast Member No.: 283 |
He would put it in the CENCORED thread....
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Nov 1 2008, 09:07 PM
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#9
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 ....FileSoup Veteran....
Group: VIP Received 35 Thanks Posts: 1,452 Joined: 13-August 03 From: Back 40 Member No.: 324  |
QUOTE (Coyote @ Nov 1 2008, 03:12 PM)  Well, you could just get her fixed. Fairly cheap, lots less trouble. But not nearly as much fun for the Q-tip |
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